Laden with tiredness, exhaustion, Scoliosis, Chronic fatigue syndrome and once again wanting to seek answers spiritually, I arrived here.

Cause of illness: Chronic fatigue syndrome causes the body to be lethargic, with a dizzy head, lack of strength and the whole body to ache. The work stress and psychological stress are too much to bear; constantly emotionally anxious , easily irritable and angered, causing varying degrees of psychological obstacles. Additionally, Scoliosis results in depression. The extreme degree of exhaustion also causes the important inner organs to change morphologically.

Both Chinese and Western medical treatments only have a temporary effect, and hence I have been entangled in this situation for a long time.

Arriving here, the first sentence that Shifu (Master Ng) said was “ Your body is in a terrible state and you have heavy karmic energy. You need to let go.” Without enough time to reply, another sentence came: “ You know how to earn money, but the body is in such a bad state, is it worth it?” His second sentence hit the nail on the head. I know of this matter but I can’t walk out of that setting. His encouragement enabled me to walk out of darkness.

For three years regardless of rain or shine, I will come to practice. At the beginning, the ‘gongfa’ or practice method of qigong would cause the whole body from head to toes to be sore, tired, numb, and painful. The emotions would fluctuate, at times good and at times bad. On the surface I look fine, but deep down I am ‘overturning seas and rivers’ or in a spectacular mess. One day the practice caused me to weep, feeling immense suffering deep down. I begged Shifu for help, screaming out – Shifu, save me, save me. He benevolently helped me up and said: “ Yes, I’ll save you. You need to listen and need to let go.” This sentence drove deep into my heart.

Shifu says that this ‘gongfa’ can strengthen the body, as well as cultivate the heart and nurture one’s character, hence working on two things at a single time. He also said to practice well, learn to let go, find back your original self, recite the Buddha’s name, practice the ‘gongfa’, ‘focus deeply in one door’, have one teacher, listen and let go, let go of all human and worldly affairs.

His words are deeply entrenched in my heart. My life of practice commenced from then, focused on the practice of ‘gongfa’ and Buddha recitation whilst following an enlightened teacher. Within this ‘gongfa’ is two portions, the movement portion of ‘gongfa’ has stances. The stances can respond and reflect based on the issues of the body, and accord treatment. When the position opens up and allows passage through, the movement and stance will change.

The ‘gongfa’ is the practice method of one’s innate nature, it is a qigong that allows one to treat oneself. Vital ‘qi’ needs to be trained, requiring time and hard work; being tantamount to practicing ‘qi’ (or energy). The ‘gongfa’ is like a heavenly book without words, it is different for everyone. Everyone’s bodily illnesses are different; every individual is also different. The ‘gongfa’ is to be practiced and not to be thought of.

Unobstructed Xue ‘qi’ (or blood and vital ‘qi’) is also intimately related to one’s mental state and diet. The seven emotional states and six desires are slowly released by the ‘gongfa’, indeed the fluctuations in one’s inner world are created by greed, anger, delusion, arrogance and doubts.

I let go of my career and chose to stay alone, that also sped up the change in my body and mind. Because there is sufficient time, in the practice I am able to face the issues, correct myself and change correspondingly.

In the chinese word (静) ‘stillness’, there are two portions to this word. One needs to let go of (争 portion of this word) ‘vying for’, then one can cultivate the heart. When the heart is corrected, a lot of human and worldly affairs can be let go, illnesses can also be healed without medicine.

Cultivation of the heart and strengthening of the body can be verified through the ‘gongfa’. Movement is training ‘qi’, moving ‘qi’ can access the whole body (through stance). Stillness can nourish ‘qi’ (through meditation). With a poor body constitution, and with the need to practice, these are a challenge by itself. Genuine perseverance is needed to complete this.

When I understand cause and effect, karmic energy, karmic obstruction etc, are all nidana, the nidana of me arriving at this place is definitely prearranged. Karmic obstructions, karmic energy as well as cause and effect, i truly repent, recite the Buddha’s name, correct myself and practice giving. Within the ‘gongfa’, I can feel joy, anger, anxiety, sorrow, fear and shock.

These emotions appear one by one. At the moment it appears, upon seeing it, immediately face it, accept it, resolve it and finally let it go.

Everyday there is homework, some can be completed within a day, while some needs a longer period of time as things are removed piece by piece out of the heart. Regardless of how much negative ‘qi’ there is that is hidden, avoided or once blamed upon, toss them all out. Admitting one’s own mistakes, “it is never too late to repent and salvation is at hand” is also letting go of yourself. The mind is also released.

My depression and hallucination, through the Buddhist songs and music, I am absorbed into the ‘gongfa’, with ears only hearing how penetrating the sound waves (music and Buddhist tunes) are. It drives the movement of inner ‘qi’, attaining “the will reaches, the sound reaches, the ‘qi’ reaches”. With sound leading ‘qi’, ‘qi’ following will; sound waves leading ‘qi’ and body, with the corresponding body positions; from the head to the foot in cycles, with vibrations, from warm to cold, with cold ‘qi’ discharging out from the head and ears. Warm energy flows to the soles of the feet to discharge impure ‘qi’. The ‘gongfa’ can purify the body and mind through music and Buddhist tunes. Impure ‘qi’ being repressed in the heart will also be discharged from the mouth. Some people release concealed pain in their hearts through crying. Pain is also a type of negative energy. This is indeed an extraordinary ‘gongfa’ that can heal us spiritually.

One can practice while walking, standing, sitting or lying down. A body with deficient ‘qi’, cold ‘qi’ can be harmonised through the ‘gongfa’. As I had been in contact with chemicals for a long time, while practicing, the toxins in the body are constantly discharged. It is through vomiting, urinating, perspiration, discharging the impure ‘qi’ and defecating. The ‘gongfa’ by means of practicing the five elements (heart, liver, spleen, lung, kidney); simultaneously practicing internally and externally; ‘qi’ and blood (train, nourish, gather, harmonise, rotate, absorb ‘qi’ that comes naturally, release ‘qi’). These are all within the ‘gongfa’.

After setting the ‘gongfa’ into motion, training the mind as well as the limbs, in tightening and relaxing. Normally, the relaxing happens first, changing mutually; harmonising from the tightening and relaxation.

After relaxing the mind and limbs, there is clear awareness of the intravenous veins emerging at the back of the hands, the hands and legs swell with a tingling sensation, emit heat, and perspire. The movements of the limbs, joints, skeletal structure of the whole body are agilely coordinated.

Every movement is from slow to fast, left and right in symmetry, alternating upwards and downwards, with front and rear being balanced. The hands and legs in unity, elbows and knees in unity, shoulders and hips in unity, heart and mind in unity, mind and ‘qi’ in unity, and ‘qi’ and strength in unity. The mind and limbs achieve a state of being highly unified. Advancing forward, maneuvering the inner potential and attaining inner ‘qi’ being released outside of the lower Dan Tien (i) (or sacral chakra), yet within the body.

Under long-term stress, the chest and cranial nerves feel tight, the heart and chest area are also very tight. When I practice the ‘gongfa’ while standing or walking, there is feeling of ‘qi’ moving from lower abdomen downwards towards Hui Ying (ii), then going backwards from the spine upwards entering the brain, directly reaching Bai Hui (iii) (or Crown Chakra), constantly circulating. When the ‘qi’ arrives at a pain point, it will stop there and the sensation is as if needles are pricking. The ‘qi’ arrives at the armpit, as if a little ball with needles is whirling, causing much pain. Because of the pain, the hands will naturally straighten and vital ‘qi’ will flow towards the fingers in a rush; while some ‘qi’ will flow towards the breasts in a rush. With one inhalation the area contracts, with one exhalation the area expands. The ‘qi’ also flows unobstructed to the nipples, gathering and whirling, and then spreading around the chest, eventually slowly spreading around the whole body. The body starts to feel numb, and unconsciously stretches open, allowing ‘qi’ to disperse from our bodies’ pores of multiple locations. The head and chest areas as well as the heart feels very relaxed and at ease.

One day while practicing, the abdomen felt a burst of acute pain, with a force of warm current emitting out, and in many instances, as if needles are pricking. The heat energy is as if light and heat are shuttling through the entire abdomen; similar to fireworks (pow pow) exploding open. Impure ‘qi’ are discharged from the anal hole, with both hands hugging the belly, the ‘qi’ is being pulled from the front of the abdomen to the Ming Men(iv) (or Life Gate) at the back, the suction seemed to cause that portion to be almost flat, constantly squeezing the impure ‘qi’ out with each expansion, each contraction and each exhalation, each inhalation. Simultaneously, the abdominal wall retracts inwards; the will, thoughts, and breath are in unison. A force of ‘qi’ directly rushed to the door of my heart (or Tan Zhong (v)). The door of my heart is as if opened, with the force of stuffed up ‘qi’ in my inner heart being released, and in that instance I feel immense joy. That feeling is hard to describe.

The next day, Shifu was in the pavilion using his hands to transmit vital ‘qi’ to me. Vital ‘qi’ directly entered the centre of the palms, up to Bai Hui, down to the centre of the feet; soft, relaxed, fine, tight, all happening naturally. The breathing can be deep, long, calm, firm, whilst inhaling and retracting the abdomen. Exhaling and slowly releasing the lower abdomen, ‘qi’ gathered at the lower Dan Tien; consciously feeling that the upper body is light while the lower body is very firm, with a gentle and soft feeling, similar to cotton.

The abdomen while breathing, peaceful and quiet, the whole body soft and light, ‘qi’ is again slowly going upwards to the chest. A force of ‘qi’ turns into the heart chakra, and inside the ears, there is also a force of ‘qi’ whirling. Vital ‘qi’ whirling up and down. The inner ‘qi’ spontaneously recuperates, and the outer layer of the body is as if ants are walking around; the psychological and physical states are in balance, the body and mind feels at ease.

Shifu emphasises on letting go, cultivating the heart and nourishing the character, meditation and reciting the Budhha’s name. Being alone in stillness, one can experience awakening and realisation. Meditation is the heart, holding in store the hidden potential within our human body, that can be passed on through stillness.

Let go of attachments. “The sea of bitterness has no boundaries”, if one experiences the suffering of hunger, having a meal is a miracle. Blindly being wallowed in one’s own suffering, why not enjoy the miracles of life. Precisely because of the pain in one’s heart, you would not miss out on Pure Land at this moment. In tranquility, it is the best opportunity to recite the Buddha’s name, practice ‘gongfa’ and ‘focus deeply in one door’.

During COVID period, Shifu taught me mental dharma and it is single-mindedly reciting the Buddha’s name without stopping, resolving Mara hindrances, grievance creditors, karmic obstacles, entering a realm without realms. A mental dharma that is extremely extraordinary, diligently reciting while recollecting the teacher, once again letting me experience the sufferings with the cycle of rebirth in the six realms, as well as with the body and mind.

Hearing the heart-piercing sorrow and pain in the black “sea of suffering”, I shouted in pain. A strong and powerful arm pulled me up, and in that instance I understood that the inner world is caused by many lifetimes and kalpas. I once again let go, going deep into the ‘gongfa’, with the energy constantly accompanying me,inseparable.

‘Qi’ follows along the spine, rising upwards reaching the Ba Hui acupuncture point at the top of the head, stopping for a short moment. The entire body ‘qi’ from the top of the head, from top to bottom, following along the centre of the skeleton slowly down towards the lower Dan Tien, and then from the lower Dan Tien slowly following along the original route back to the top of the head, circulating in this manner repeatedly. The ‘qi’ also permeates the marrow, opening up and allows passage through the whole body’s “opening gates”, upwards and downwards, inside and outside, free-flowing and without obstruction.

‘Qi’ can be soft and can be strong, when it’s soft there is delight and when it’s strong there is strength. The inner ‘qi’ shuttles within the body, and the viscera and internal organs expands and shrinks. The inner ‘qi’ is continuously turning, opening up and accessing the whole body. Impure ‘qi’ being discharged one by one, as the inner ‘qi’ spontaneously recuperates. The body has a great transformation, the weak and floating ‘qi’ has disappeared, and eyes are now bright and piercing.

In a deep state of meditation, inner vigor ‘qi’ accesses the whole body, from top of the head to the toes in a slow to fast pace, and from fast to movement. Movement changes stillness, aliken to an air sac at the abdomen, going upwards and downwards,and the whole body gradually gets warm. ‘Jing Qi Shen’ (a term for the three energies of chinese medicine: essence, qi and spirit) , is as if having forms, striking stances. The ‘qi’ at the centre of the palms and feet also have strength. ‘Qi’ of the fingers are strong, while the toes grip the ground. In a state when the ‘qi’ is strong, ‘qi’ would be absorbed into the central meridian. Indeed feeling the existence of the central meridian, feeling ‘qi’ going upwards towards the Ba Hui acupuncture point, downwards towards the Hui Ying acupuncture point, akin to a tubing-like channel, also with five round plates, respectively at the crown, throat, heart, sacral and Hui Ying, all being connected by this channel and together whirling in a high speed.

The lower portion of the spinal column to the centre of the pelvis, there is a huge energy reserve warehouse. It is possible to tap into the potential of the human body from the ‘gongfa’. This is also the function and capability of “seeing, hearing, cognition, and knowing”.

The knots of the heart chakra meridian opens and disperses, the meridian sand chakras of body and mind from inside to outside, constantly whirling. From small turning to big, turning and reaching the brows, with a force of suction, absorbing into the inner heart, aliken to a pillar. Feeling that layer by layer there is entry, layer by layer there is purification, the body seemed to have been reborn and exchanged with a new one, being opened up and granted access segment by segment.

Slowly with self-cultivation and practicing ‘qi’, the body’s feminine and cold ‘qi’ dispersed, cultivating Yuan Qi (vi) (or primordial ‘qi’). The energy of the body transforms and manifests like the colored lights, and colored as well as transparent glass of the universe. The colored, transparent glass are like worms lying, ants walking, and this sensation fills up the whole body; the colored lights are like fireworks that grow and multiply without an end in the body, also like the sensation of needles pricking, and burning. The brow chakra rotates, with a force of warm energy from the brow entering the heart chakra, and then to the lower Dan Tien, with the ‘qi’ suddenly “solemnly silent”, the body at ease, a wonder beyond imagination, indeed the inner heart is like a bright lamp that is being turned on.

Shifu taught me to stretch and move my fingers. The body feels lukewarm inside, with the inner ‘qi’ trembling slightly and I can also feel a gush of heat flowing from the back, travelling upwards and then along the frontal body circulating downwards, like a rush of huge waves.

The ten fingers are connected to the heart; the ten fingers and ten toes, and the eight extraordinary meridians in the human body are connected. The blood of the whole body circulates without obstructions. The fingers guide the meridians of the whole body. The fingers can open, close, stretch, hold, and closing and opening the fingers can bring about a rush in the meridians, causing the Xue ‘qi’ to speed up. The fingers also “knows” how to press on the acupuncture points of the body, this is a way that the body manifests, every style and every move all natural, within its rhythm, in no way forcing it to go against the flow.

The ten fingers can absorb the right ‘qi’ that automatically comes by itself, the lower Dan Tien can nourish ‘qi’, the abdomen can collect ‘qi’ and the chest can train ‘qi’.

Regarding this ‘gongfa’, I love it too much to part with it, the ‘qi’ and I are one body. The ‘qi’ is there, the mental power is there; the ‘qi’ is there, the strength is there; a harmonised fusion of the vitality essence of heaven and earth together with the human body’s vitality essence, spirit and strength; all combining into one. The body is made up of four classical chemical elements: fire, earth, air and water. These four need to be in harmony for the body to operate smoothly.

After a long period of practice, the slanted angle of my spine from 55 degrees dropped to 15 degrees, attaining the standard curvature. The spine is a very important “pillar” in our human body.

When the heart is corrected, the heart’s nature will naturally reveal, and a heart of selflessness would naturally arise, tolerating everything. Regardless of people who once hurt me or I used to loathe, I will use an impartial heart to help them. A tranquil spirit and peaceful heart. A peaceful heart and a complete form. With a tranquil heart and still spirit, the inner heart will be still. I can access and use everything in the world, although they are not owned by me. Living peacefully in stillness, this is the true bliss of dharma, letting go is indeed true liberation.

This is what I learnt from a period of three years plus, at this place of teaching. The body and mind transformed, having a refreshed vigor, being satisfied with what one has. Being grateful for everything that Shifu had taught. One glance, one phrase from him: “Keep going!” or an action like patting me on my shoulder, are to me a form of comfort and encouragement. Shifu, he endlessly (without stopping to sleep or rest) teaching us, pointing out key important points, and writing dharma discourse. An inner heart not drawn by external objects, not chasing the desires connected with the six guṇas, not attached to “others” and “self”, not bothered about gains and loss, attaining a highly purified inner heart. This ‘gongfa’ can achieve ‘cultivation for the heart and nourishment for the character’, as one as one puts the heart into the practice, results can definitely be seen, and illness can definitely recover completely. Jue Jing Ordination name: July 2021

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